Joke:
A little boy goes to his father and asks “Daddy, how was I born?”
The father answers: “Well son, your mum and I got together in a chat room at Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mum and we met up at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, I upgraded my floppy disk to a stiffy and then your mum agreed to do a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither of us had used a firewall, and it was too late to hit the delete button. Nine months later, a little pop-up appeared and said:
“You’ve got Male!”
Condoms:
Recent research revealed almost 20 types of condoms available locally: collected off the shelf of 4 major distributors in Abuja and its environs. Well, you know I am a scientist and I love research. The most popular brand is Gold Circle being cheaper than most other brands. However, it does seem that women prefer Durex: since it is a bit classier, expensive and perhaps worthy.
Bread:
Now, let us get serious. During the research, we found out that fresh bread costs much less than condoms. For example, a named brand of bread (about 20 slices) is N350 while the Feather-light Durex condom (3 in a pack) costs as much as N780. So the thoughts in a woman’s head goes thus: It is cheaper to buy the bread and have a child by Christmas; than to buy condoms. Bread also gives energy in comparison. Good thinking!
But, you know that even though condoms are more expensive, they actually withstand inflation, reduce consumption, and perhaps help to decrease body fat, while halting production of the next generation. They also prevent infections like AIDS and Hepatitis.
It’s, therefore, a lifestyle choice. Bread or condoms? Difficult, I know!
Real-life choices:
There is more to compare between bread and condoms. I mean seriously, manufacturers are to be congratulated for creativity in the variety. Same for the bakery industry I suppose. You can get coconut bread, wheat bread, cassava bread, sweet bread, torpedo-shaped, round and of course, a huge variety of cakes and confectionaries.
In the condom variety, you have ribbed, banana or chocolate flavoured, sensitive, ultra-thin, thick, lubricated and those with or without a spermicide inside. You can also buy a female condom (Femidom).
Who bringeth?
That means who is bringing the condom in biblical speak. Nigerian women do not buy their own, relying heavily on the men for protection. They also do not actively use pills and injections to prevent pregnancy. They have abdicated the role to the man, forgetting the personal consequences.
The uptake of family planning among married women is also as low as 20%. Unlike death which we may not be able to control, giving birth is a choice. When the desired family size has been reached, a pregnant woman may be forced to resort to the termination of pregnancy. So much debate surrounds this!
Naturally, women’s emotions blind them to the risks associated with sex. They are seemingly more open, more daring and in tuned to risk-taking during sex. Women to a large extent instinctively want to get pregnant. It’s natural!
However, if contraception is well practised, the debate over pregnancy termination would not be an issue. Also, as you know, expectant women are at high risk of death during pregnancy and labour in Nigeria. There is, therefore, a direct link with maternal and infant mortality. Contraception and an active resolve to prevent pregnancy may reduce the burden and the associated risks of death.
Joke:
Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, “I was cleaning the Father’s room the other day, and I found a bunch of pornographic magazines’’
“What did you do?” the second nun asked.
“I threw them in the trash, of course.”
“Well,” said the second nun, “I was in the Father’s room putting away laundry and found a bunch of condoms.”
“What did you do?” the first nun asked
“I poked holes in them.”
“Oh, crap,” said the third nun.
Fact:
July 28th was World Hepatitis Day. The day was being marked by the National Guild of Medical Directors (GMD) who declared war on hepatitis. The GMD is a national organization made up of the medical directors of private hospitals in Nigeria and is committed to the total eradication of the disease from Nigeria through massive awareness programs and advocacy.
The association is set to continue the advocacy war on hepatitis focused on the prevention through vaccination, early detection to treat the disease and the management of chronic infection with hepatitis to forestall the significant liver damage that can result.
In conclusion:
Let’s bring this all together for you. A recent report said that the prevalence of HIV in some suburb of Abuja is as high as 25%. And it doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you have: having unprotected sex can lead to pregnancies, unwanted babies, risk of maternal and infant death as well as the usual and even unusual infections.
Bread or condoms? Difficult decision? You decide!